Strengthening Your Law Practice: The Skills and Uses of a Law Office Coach

What coaching is not:

Coaching is NOT counseling – whether for the individual or the office. Coaches do not analyze the past or address serious mental conditions. They don’t seek to “fix” client “problems.” As a coach/consultant, my focus is on building effective systems that achieve desired outcomes rather than analyzing and/or trying to “change” past issues.

What coaching is:

Coaching is the work of highly trained professionals who specialize in human nature and interactions. A coach supports people in achieving their personal and professional goals while balancing the other areas of their lives. A coach listens intently and can see past the facades and smoke screens to the unique person within. From that point of view, the coach asks the questions that clarify what the client can’t see, hold the vision when the client is ready to give up and is tough and exacting in keeping clients to the tasks at hand. Though highly compassionate, they ignore excuses, refuse to commiserate or to see their clients as anything other than powerful and capable. Coaches are trained to have their clients produce results.

High employee turnover, low morale, unfocused/unclear office goals and workloads cause energy drain, frustration and unnecessary office costs. Law firms are hiring coaches to facilitate office retreats that create broad visions, long/short term goals and effective action plans. With the willingness to be “coachable,” an office can develop clear communication, clarity of office/client needs and accountabilities, excellent customer service and employee satisfaction through achieving a common vision.

As the benefits of having an office coach became more and more apparent, the lawyers I work with sought to incorporate coaching into client preparation. We've seen that the client/attorney/coach model works. The results have not only been encouraging, but in some cases astonishing.

What client coaching is – and what it's not: Authentic Presentation

Coaching supports the client in presenting his or her self in the most authentic way possible. It is NOT about training on what to say or how to say it in a contrived, robotic manner. From a jury's perspective, from a human perspective, we are deeply moved by people who "come from the heart." In other words, we're moved by people authentically expressing their emotions and experiences. We listen keenly; we remember what is said.

Clients are often more concerned about "doing it right" and living up to their attorney's expectations than in telling their truth. Yet clients' most powerful approach to winning is to be themselves, to tell their story as accurately and succinctly as possible. This includes being able to express the genuine emotions that arise from the telling of their experiences. However, telling the truth to strangers can be the most difficult and painful action a person can take. Through the partnership of client/lawyer/coach, clients can complete their litigation with confidence and clarity.

How coaching is used:

• To establish an immediate relationship with the client that creates the trust necessary to delve into the sensitive areas of their experiences.
As a neutral third party – standing for the good of both client and attorney – and trained in human relationships, a coach acts as a bridge. This bridge between client and attorney accelerates the building of a bond of mutual trust and honesty. Within this space, the client has the freedom to remember and express past experiences that may be painful and embarrassing. The attorney is then given the full picture of the case. This enables both client and attorney to create an effective plan for the legal battle ahead and to agree together on the intended outcome.

• To break through defenses of anger, anxiety, fear, sadness, "its all fine," "I can handle anything," etc., to the truth of the client's emotional state.
Being human means to “put up a good front” in the face of adversity. Ignoring the client’s façade in the hopes that it will hold through litigation puts the case in jeopardy. Juries and judges don’t buy facades. They listen for the “real thing.” A coach is highly trained to see past the good front that a client wears. What’s underneath can be disconcerting – depression, anxiety, anger, untreated conditions, half-truths. The stress of the case may have worn away any existing sense of self-esteem. Acknowledging the validity of the client’s emotions, fears and concerns and then reviewing, in-depth, the client’s strengths and courage, builds confidence for confronting the proceedings ahead.

• To increase client resolve through the use of exercises, feedback and mock questioning and by clarifying what to expect at each stage of the process.
Clients have little knowledge of what it takes to be involved in legal proceedings. Fear of the unknown escalates anxieties to an all time high. Therefore, practicing for questioning and clarifying procedures is critical. A coach will notice when a client needs more information. In mock questioning, a coach can observe from the perspective of “juror”/coach. The immediate feedback this provides gives the client a keen awareness of when they’re reacting and when they’re being concise and clear. This frees the lawyer to lead the “questioning” and sort through the responses. Using a coach accelerates the process and most efficiently uses the limited time available.

• To provide immediate coaching when the client becomes evasive, defensive, hooked and/or uses body language that misrepresents them.
A coach watches for reactions that will weaken the client’s presentation. Looking for facts, a lawyer can completely miss what a coach is trained to see: body language, facial expressions, tones of voice that say: something is missing, information is being withheld, there is more that isn’t being expressed. Training is then given to have the client present themselves in a manner that is forthright and authentic. They see clearly that their body language reflects their state of mind and they learn to check themselves and notice when they’re becoming “hooked” or fearful. The client can then come back to the moment and address what’s being asked of them. At the same time the attorney is prepared for the unique physical/mental/emotional reactions of their client during legal proceedings.

• To build the client's expertise and courage in telling the truth of their case clearly, accurately and with genuine emotion.
A huge gap can exist between “telling the truth” and “doing it right” when clients speak of the details of their cases. “How should I say this?” is constantly asked. “Just tell the truth,” elicits a struggle. The closer one comes to the core pain of a client’s experience, the more evasive and defensive they can become. The very heart of the client’s story brings up their worst fears. The truth is tied to deep emotions that feel too excruciating to express. Often a client’s confidence in themselves is so worn away that they secretly fear that their case and who they are will be exposed as a lie. Providing a safe arena for the client to express their true emotions and all the important details, gives them the experience of being believed, trusted and respected. This builds the client’s courage to continue to be open in a more public arena.

Coaching for both attorney and client vastly improves the creditability and power of a case. When a client is at their most genuine, confident in who they are and capable of handling legal proceedings, an attorney is free to give their full attention to presenting the case effectively. Both client and attorney have the satisfaction of working powerfully together to achieve the intended outcome.

“At first I was a bit skeptical that a coach could make a difference in my clients' presentation in depositions. Not anymore. Mary Jo turned several potentially problem depositions into real winners. She helped my clients understand the strong emotions that would have gotten in the way of a good presentation. Once those feelings were clarified, the clients were able to think better during the deposition. Maybe more important, the clients were able to show how badly they were hurt, and to do so openly and honestly without seeming to whine, complain, or seek sympathy. I will use her services again in 90% of my cases to help me prepare my clients for their depositions. Thanks Mary Jo!” --S.T., Attorney

"As a lawyer, my main concern is that my client is up for the battle and will be able to see through the lawsuit they initiated. Mary Jo Oxrieder is my savior because she is my client's savior. Her ability to enable people to confront their fears, renew their confidence and built mental strength and character is a form of 'regeneration'. She listens carefully to their hurt, conveys warmth and understanding and allows the healing process to take place. She then opens their mind to self worth, instills confidence and spirit resulting in determination to see through the fight.

I love to watch her work. I love to see the metamorphous take place. I love to have a client ready for the battle." --L.M., Attorney

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